Moving Abroad as an Introvert: How to Mentally Prepare Yourself

I think I know you…you introverted dreamer, you.

You’ve been feeling that tug…that urge to get rid of your things, hop on a plane, and move abroad.

BUT you are a self-proclaimed introvert and maybe you are afraid that living abroad will be too far out of your comfort zone. Maybe you wonder if it’s even possible.

You are not alone.

I was in your shoes exactly 4 years ago – excited as heck, but nervous too.

I once took a personality test that spit out my results: 97% introverted. 🤓 Well then.

But even despite my ultra-introvert status, I have been loving my life abroad for the last 3 years.

Has it been totally easy? Not always.

Has it pushed me to grow and put myself out there? YES

Has it been worth it? YES, 10000% yes.

The truth is – there are tons of introverts thriving abroad. We just have to mentally plan for it a little differently than our extroverted neighbors.

So let’s dive into it– 9 ways that you can mentally prepare for moving abroad as an introvert.

It’ll be 10000% worth it, I promise.

Ready?

#1 – Give Yourself Permission to Have This Big Dream of Moving Abroad as an Introvert

When I was planning my move abroad, I sometimes felt the need to hide it from people.

Why did I hide my dream?

😵‍💫I was “quitting” the rat race to live life on my terms (surely, that was spoiled?)
😵‍💫I was excited for my future when many people around me were unhappy (awkward)
😵‍💫I was full of mixed emotions and I didn’t want other people’s unsolicited advice (….)

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Us introverts tend to be more sensitive to the feelings of others….

…and our big dream to move abroad?

It’s bound to bring up big feelings in at least one other person in our life and those feelings can be overwhelming.

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It can be hard to choose a lifestyle that makes someone else upset, even if their feelings are not our responsibility.

Another challenge for introverts?

Many of us have this subconscious belief that we are supposed to struggle a little bit in life, otherwise we aren’t working “hard enough”.

We have been spoon-fed a “formula for success” since childhood: work hard → earn stripes → work hard longer → retire → then have fun.

I say BOO! 👎🏼

First of all, moving abroad is not a 24/7 vacation, even though some people will think that.

☑️ You will still have to work
☑️ You will still have daily struggles
☑️ You will still grow as a person. A lot.

I would argue that you will work harder and grow more than if you were to stay at home in your current life.

But moving abroad is an experience beyond the comprehension of most people – one that is very far out of their comfort zone.

Which means that you may feel judged by a few people when you tell them your big dream.

Why? Because they just won’t fully get it. And people often judge what they don’t understand.

(Sad, but true.)

So the first step in mentally preparing for your potential life abroad is letting yourself get excited by your dream.

It doesn’t matter if you move abroad for 3 months, one year, or forever. Whatever path or duration you choose for this chapter is yours and you SHOULD be excited by it.

You are considering embarking on an AMAZING adventure!

#2- Put Your Fear of Social Awkwardness to Rest

As an introvert, I bet you are no stranger to social awkwardness. It just comes with the package, am I right? 🙋🏻‍♀️

But when you are abroad, your social awkwardness will likely just be perceived as cultural differences.

Nearly everything you know how to do in your home country will be done slightly – if not completely – differently than in your new home country.

Social greetings, writing addresses, counting currency, using the mail service?

All these things will be wildly different from home. And it can feel mentally exhausting to “get it all right”.

But all of the little nuances of social correctness that can be tiresome to us as introverts?

Yeah…they will be amplified while abroad, I won’t lie to you.

☑️But you will have a unique advantage that you don’t have at home–

You will be a foreigner, meaning people will expect you to do things slightly different.

Your social slips will not be perceived as weird, just different. They’ll assume you are just being American, not being awkward. This is a huge relief to socially insecure introverts!

One thing that tripped me up a lot when I first landed in Mexico were the greetings.

In Mexico, it is not uncommon to greet someone with a handshake followed by a “cheek to cheek” kiss.

(By the way – this is also common in Italy where you do both cheeks)

[fun fact: I almost kissed my friend’s dad on the mouth one time by going to the wrong side first 🫣]

My best advice as one introvert to another?

Be humble, shrug, and say “oh sorry, I’m still learning” when you commit social faux pas.

Believe it or not, people will actually like you more for it!

People love it when other people make honest mistakes and then own them. Our vulnerability leads to connection which is so key when you are meeting new friends abroad.

#3- Prepare Yourself for “the In-Between” Zone

After living in your new home country and adjusting to your new life, it is common to start feeling “stuck in between” your two homes.

I’ve had friends from three different continents express the exact same thing on their own journeys of living abroad: you’ll miss something in whichever country you are.

You start loving certain things in your new country, but you begin to appreciate things from your home country.

Basically, you’re left feeling a little stuck in between your two cultures because neither country has all of the things you love.

Objectively, this sucks.

But the upside?

You are going to have perspectives and experiences that almost no one else can

fully relate to because you will grow cultural layers to your identity.

This becomes an amazing asset – you can provide insights that no one else has, and you can even use your experiences to sell things online without very much competition. Hello, online entrepreneur (aka the introvert’s dream)!

#4 – Make a Plan for Emotional Days While You’re Abroad

A huge part of the introverted experience is self care.

We re-charge our batteries in low-stim situations, preferably in the comfort of our own homes.

This is easily 10x as important as a part of your self-care routine while living abroad.

All of those pressures and insecurities that come with learning a new culture?

They don’t exist within the four walls of your own home, even if that home is in a different country. ✨

You can speak your own language, watch your favorite shows, eat your comfort foods, dress how you want, and no one will be there to question you.

There are days when I simply do not want to leave my introverted home bubble and so I don’t!

This is part of long-term sustainability as an introvert living abroad.

So before you start finalizing your move abroad plan, I recommend planning to not share a home space with a stranger.

Spend a little extra money (if possible) to ensure privacy.

Opt for a private room, an apartment, or a small house where just you or your family will live.

It is massively worth it for introverts.

My second house in Mexico was in a small neighborhood with expat and local families, and the whole * dropping by unexpectedly for playdates with my daughters at all hours * was very exciting for my extrovert daughter and very hard for me as the introvert mom 🫣.

As introverts, we can’t be “on” socially at all times, so make sure to choose a private living space when you first move abroad. It’s key to long-term success abroad.

#5 – Learn to Welcome the Blues While Living Abroad

Even if you have a network of friends abroad, you will have moments of melancholy in your new life that can feel amplified by your distance from your home country.

That’s why I recommend that you bring comfort items with you such as:

💗Your favorite soup
💗Your favorite tea
💗Your favorite coffee mug
💗Your favorite snack
💗Your favorite hand lotion
💗Your favorite book
💗Your favorite blanket

Anything that feels like a warm hug when you are feeling blue that you aren’t sure will be readily accessible in local stores of your new country.

Even if you have limited luggage space, consider bringing some things that you normally reach for when you get the blues at home.

Call it self-care in advance.

My personal recipe for when I’m feeling the blues?

💙 Staying at home in yoga pants (even though yoga pants are sooo American)
💙 Eating pasta (my ultimate comfort food)
💙 Watching my favorite millennial movies (aka Harry Potter or 90s Rom Coms)

It’s a hug for my introverted soul. No matter where I am in the world.

So create a list of “must-bring” comfort items as part of your Survival Abroad toolkit.

#6- Release the Fantasy of Being “Perfectly Prepared” Before Moving Abroad

Many of us think that we have to have everything figured out before we go.

But it is simply impossible to be 100% prepared, so let yourself off of that hook right away.

But having said that, I recommend having a couple of basic necessities planned and in place in the name of introverted peace of mind.

I found it immensely helpful to have:

☑️secured our rental
☑️identified a local school (for our kids), and
☑️located where grocery stories, pharmacies, and hospitals were before we left

This allowed me to feel that I didn’t have to scramble out in the wild for our basic necessities – in broken Spanish – upon touch-down in our new home.

And about leases- I recommend short-term at first – 3 months, 6 months, 1 year tops.

In case you end up not liking the area or home or both, you’ll have a relatively inexpensive home base while in search of a new place to live (as opposed to an Airbnb temporary rental).

So as long as you’ve covered the basic necessities, you can let the rest of your plan have holes.

Also, know that there will be parts of your plan that go off the rails and there will be things that pop up that you didn’t anticipate.

So be mentally ready to pivot without self-shame for “not having planned well enough.”

Living abroad is an adventure!

So re-frame any challenges as great stories that you will be able to share with people in the future.

You don’t need perfect preparation, you just need courageous action. 💪🏼

#7- Practice Being an Immigrant/Expat While at Home

You probably won’t like this, but…

Here are a few exercises to get your nervous system ready for the “expat experience”:

🌎 Go to a local restaurant of your target country – ask the server what dishes they recommend, listen to the language if they are speaking amongst themselves, notice the decor and vibe of the place, notice the friendliness (or lack there of) of the people

🌎 Find a random social event or mixer in town (check Meetup or the Chamber of Commerce) and go for at least 30 minutes. Feel that discomfort of putting yourself out there and do it anyway. Then go home and curl up with a blanket and give yourself a mental high-five.

🌎 Learn/Practice the local language (try resources like Lingoda, italki, or Preply) and praise yourself every time you make a mistake. Mistakes means you are trying something hard. You should be proud of yourself. Celebrate those wins, baby!

🌎 Try grocery shopping at an Asian grocery store, a Latin grocery store, or a European grocery store – anything to make you feel a little vulnerable and a little uncertain about what products are, how much they cost, etc.

#8: Set Up Your Support System Before Moving Abroad

Having a support system in place before, during, and after you are moving abroad is a crucial piece to feeling confident.

But how do you set up support systems?

☑️ Join Facebook Groups. There are groups for every type of expat. The groups can be informative and allow you to connect with local social groups, event centers, and crucial resources. Just be prepared to filter out those hateful comments because trolls do exist in these groups.

☑️ Check Google for Whatsapp groups for the area where you want to move. There are parent groups, singles groups, expat groups, and all of them are chock full of resources and people who are already living the life that you want! I personally prefer Whatsapp groups to Facebook Groups. They’re gold mines.

☑️ Share your cell phone’s location with a few trusted friends. My parents, best friend, cousin, and step-daughter all have my real-time location. And make sure you share your location with at least a couple of people under 50 because, technology 😆… But seriously, my best friend has texted me saying things like “I see you made it home from the airport” or “are you on a weekend trip somewhere?” and knowing that someone is keeping an eye on me from time to time makes me feel supported from afar.

☑️ Brainstorm ways to connect with your loved ones back home. My favorite way to keep in touch with my best friend is Marco Polo. It’s like Snapchat, but the videos don’t disappear. I talk to her more now than I ever did when we lived in the same country and seeing videos 3-5 times per week allows me to watch her kids grow up even though I’m 2,000 miles away. 10/10 recommend.

☑️ Start normalizing phone conversations with your loved ones of the older generations. My favorite way to connect with my dad? Facetime in the morning while we each have an espresso. I have around 50 screenshots from our calls. They’re quick, they’re soul-warming, and they connect me to my support system by home.

Overall, keep in mind that we are living in a time of globalization. 🌎

We don’t have to be physically near someone to feel close to them anymore.

Trust me, I have never been more connected to the people I love most and ironically it is precisely because I live abroad and our relationships now feel more important than ever.

#9– Remember Your WHY and Hold It Close

Those of us that have the desire to move abroad usually have strong reasons for it.

✈️ Maybe we want a lower cost of living because we are trying to build wealth.
✈️ Maybe we want cultural exposure because it makes us feel alive.
✈️ Maybe we want travel adventures and we aren’t satisfied with a “normal” life.

Whatever your reason(s) may be, they are yours and keeping them in mind will be hugely motivating on your journey to moving abroad. You’ll hold them close when you have challenging moments.

Write your reasons down, create a vision board for you to look at, but just keep yourself anchored to your WHY and let it inspire you and fuel you on your journey.

Curious about my whys?

✨ Becoming bilingual
✨ Seeing the world and remembering that there still is a lot of good and beauty
✨ Living outside of the social pressures of my home country
✨ Raising kids with open minds
✨ Connecting my daughters to their Mexican grandparents and culture
✨…among many more.

In Closing: You are on the Verge of Something Great

If you are still reading, chances are that you are destined for this journey.

I am OVER THE MOON for you. You are in for a real treat.

Living abroad is the richest, most unique experience that I’ve ever had in my life. I am completely in love with my life and I am so proud of myself for having had the courage to follow my dream.

Imagine who you will be after one year of living abroad!

🌎What experiences will you have had?
🌎Which people might you have met?
🌎Where might you have traveled to?

How insanely exciting?!

The world is your oyster. Introvert or not, you can do it and in my humble opinion? You should.

If you want support on your journey, join the Candlelight Collective. Here we discuss all things introverted dreams. You’ve come to the right place! 🕯️✨

I look forward to meeting you and seeing you achieve your big dream of moving abroad!